Ask Jason,
I wanted to write because I'm not ready for my son to start driving. Not so much because I don't think he's a good driver, that's only a tiny bit of it, but I'm not ready for him to not to need me anymore like taking him to his functions or friend’s house, etc. If I’m driving him it makes me feel like I’m still a part of his life. When he gets his license and has that freedom, I will feel unneeded and it breaks my heart. I really want him to grow but it is harder than I thought. Please, help me get over this feeling.
Dear Broken Hearted,
Thank your being so open about how you feel. All parents, on some level, have these feelings at some stage as their child grows up. We eagerly want them to accomplish their next milestone, and then we want them to slow down.
I would embrace his new independence, watch him grow and allow yourself to grow together. His independence is huge and fundamental to him right now. I know you have these feelings of not being needed, but you are, and more than you realize. Just because he is free to drive without you, doesn't mean he isn't still learning life from you. There is still a lot you need to teach him and that's why you are still needed, just on a new platform. Make him feel needed by giving him chores and errands to do that would save you time like going to the store or picking up a sibling. Look at it this way, his new self-reliance now frees you up to maybe do something you have always desired. You might just end up being a better parent having your own time back, it’s been a lot of years, any parent knows that.
It’s a win-win situation! Be supportive of this new stage in his life and take advantage of its benefits.
No comments:
Post a Comment